The Sloan Speaks!

So I attempted to fill out an application for the tv show Big Brother. I didn't meet the deadline, but I thought some of the questions were somewhat insightful. So here are a few of the questions and my answers:

Do you have a temper? How often do you lose your temper? What provokes you?
Yes, I have a temper. It comes out rarely and only when my side of the story is ignored or when I am not given an opportunity to explain myself.

How do you deal with someone who intimidates you?
I make jokes about it.

If you could hold any political office, what would it be and why?
Actually, I would rather be a campaign speech writer because I like the idea of swaying a large crowd of people with words.

Who is your hero and why?
Andy Warhol - He started out as a graphic designer, rose to international acclaim, and didn't give a shit about what anyone thought of him. His character, the role he played, was absolute media genius. Plus, he was almost assassinated and that says a lot about a person. I mean, the difference between an assassination and a murder is publicity, right?

Finish this sentence: "My life's motto is..."
"... to never settle for less than I deserve."

Here is something I have been writing for a while. Read if you want. Just promise me one thing: you won't just read half of it.

It's very long, but I think it's worth your time. However, I guess you'll decide that for yourself. Here:

*****

Leaves fall around you as the dew dries its eyes,
deftly slipping away after claiming its prize.
Pandora’s box opens as confusion begins,
a game of hide and seek where no one wins.
Adrenaline rushed minds climb the ladder to the top,
but afraid of new heights unable to stop.
Fishing open waters, where public knowledge ran dry;
playing your hardest only to tie.
All in the family, heart on my sleeve
a stone’s throw away, yet too far to see.
Rendezvous, what a perfect view...
You’d understand if you only knew.
One bad mistake and no second date
a bullet from the gun belonging to fate.
Good with the bad more times than not
as pre-determined dreams fill the empty slots.
Corduroy dreams with splits in the seams,
and pillow talk days of receiving no praise.
All things are fair in love and war
– says the perfect tomorrow and the perfect score.

Seeing the world through a multi-colored lens
as a stalwart castle impossible to defend.
Light in the tunnel, a dimly lit sky,
hanging by a thread, a twinkle in your eye.
Against the ropes, the ball in your court;
shooting the basket, you came up short.
Battle hymns, battle scars, but no trophies to boast.
Cheers, drink up... it’s your wedding day toast.
Walk it off, shake it off, a goodnight sleep,
awaken refreshed to sow what you reap.
I planted the seeds, now bring in the harvest.
Here’s to the dumbest, here’s to the smartest.
Two o’clock chiming, four hours to go.
I hope you’re well rested, it’s time for the show.
Limelight, spotlight, and moonlight fades,
all your dirty secrets pulled behind the shades.
Malicious deceptions behind humble panache,
clean the blood-stained clothing left in the wash.
Tide rushing out, with the smut gone to sea
Apples never fall to far from the tree.
With nothing to win, but no reason to lose,
take what you get. Beggars shouldn’t choose.

Taking my chances, so genuinely crude.
Slain for the martyrs and used as their food.
Tomorrow appears brighter, your future’s ahead.
Fork placed in the road, but spoon’s left for dead.

Candy striper, pied piper, fiddler on the roof.
Living in a world with fools gone aloof.
Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth
in a world where facts are no longer proof.
Pins drop, crickets chirp as your jokes fail,
while they shovel their sand into their pail.
Joking facade, laugh a minute...
every angle’s bad news however you spin it.
Bible belt holding their pants up tight
as they hide behind verses unwilling to fight.
True life documentaries dictated by scripts
and hundreds of shipwrecks, people stranded adrift.
Losing its luster, sun falls down low
in a world of people unwilling to glow.

If this is your “Real World” I say you can have it.
Opportunity in my hand, how dare you grab it.
Mountain top highs, lowest of lows,
all your purest thoughts dressed up for show.
20/20 vision, but just in hindsight;
try as you may and try as you might.
Dead man’s hand hidden under the table,
the horse led to water gets left in the stable.
An idea fashioned, now charging a toll
as you try to cross a river now trimmed in gold.
With the bitter pill swallowed, that spoonful so sweet,
it’s back to the pillow for a goodnight sleep.

Headaches, blind dates, this takes the cake.
Is this your “Real World” for Heaven’s sake?
Salt and pepper flavor on bland food served cold;
nitty gritty business, so do what you’re told.
Thoughts wander aimlessly, no longer can stay.
For fear of persecution, they’re hidden away.
Chalkboard dreams motivate false themes,
oppressed bye a world validating its teams.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best,
keeping your heart safe inside your chest.
Whirlpools of happenstance, patience worn thin,
dizzier and dizzier despite my chagrin.
Breathtaking anxiety, but it happens all wrong.
What a horrible ending to such a beautiful song.
With all this in mind, settle down for the night,
as Pandora’s box is hidden from sight.

Modern day camouflage, briefcase in hand,
slipping through the crowd like a grain of sand.
No names with faces, just people unfurled;
unidentified flying objects in this “Real World.”
In a world where nothing is quite what it seems,
anonymity prevails synonymous with dreams.
How ‘bout a toast to drown all your sorrows?
Drink for today’s, die for tomorrow’s.
Time ticks by, shot clock winds down
as you throw up a shot with a disgusting frown.
Hungry for riches, we desperately seek
a world with superheroes unable to bleed.

We let this happen, allow it to work...
abrasive intent disguised with a smirk.
Global recognition is our only concern
as we stand in line awaiting our turn.
Five minutes of fame, step up to the mike.
Your ticket to stardom or another look-alike?
So cynically blithe, such lewd arrogance
masquerading as an intimate romance.
Fit as a fiddle with nothing to lose,
out on the prowl missing all the cues.
Tongue lashes, heat flashes, fire from the mouth;
the cancerous storm moves further south.

Dreams disappear, reality bites.
Get what you deserve only out of spite.
Every rose has its thorn, every dog its day.
To each his own, or so they say.
The tough never go when the going gets tough.
It’s too hard to find the diamond in the rough.
Always settling for second or third best,
always failing the aptitude test.
Overlooked concerns and sweat on your brow
won’t get you too far in this one horse town.
Pack up your bags, head south for the winter.
Remove the log from your eye just to point out my splinter.
A modern day Casanova, or so I’m not told.
Going once, going twice, to the highest bidder sold.
Serenaded by car horns in a rush to be free.
It’s what this world is learning to be.
Hundreds of victims and no survivors,
working not for their bosses, but for their slave drivers.

With each breath one step closer, every step one breath lost,
rehearsing the lines, debating the cost.
Regretting it later, now taking a stand,
just to end up drowning again on dry land.
Scribbling thoughts down on paper, blood flowing black,
pen uplifted prone for attack.
Ink quickly fading, as the pen soon runs dry.
People still scrambling for their piece of the pie.

With nothing quite settled, no problems resolved,
as new life begins, old ones dissolve.
With new crops to harvest, grown from those seeds,
Pandora’s box closes, still yearning with need.

Sunrise, sunset, a new day passed,
and you're left with memories that will not last.